It's best to turn on this song while reading this entry. Gives a kick!
As you all know, I'm a mum of 5, a wife to my beloved hubby and a daughter to my disabled father. I have to take care all of them and being sick is the most unwanted thing to be happened to me! Last friday, at around 12.30pm, I was talking to my hubby when suddenly I had this annoying thing happened to my vision. My vision was blurry and at the corner of my eyes, the vision looks jumpy. I told my hubby about it and he told me that it's a symptom that I'm going to pass out. I laughed about it because I didn't feel anything else besides the weird vision thing. I reached the iPad and start googled about it and I was so shocked to read that the thing that happened to my vision is called migraine aura. I was still skeptical about it (I do suffer from migraine but never in my life came across this aura thing) and about 20 minutes later, my vision returned to normal. Then, I started to feel the throbbing at the left side of my hide. Yes, migraine. It started slow, then becoming more intense.
I resisted myself from taking any pills for the migraine for fearing it will interfere the production of my breast milk, besides, when I had the episode of the impacted wisdom tooth, I've taken too much painkillers and I didn't want to be to dependable to painkillers. But 4 hours later, the pain was unbearable, so I ate Panadol actifast and it relieved the pain for a while.
That night, I felt like I was going to have a fever, I became nauseated and couldn't sleep well thru the night. I was constantly waking up due to the nauseaand after preparing my daughter for school on Saturday morning, I threw up. I swallowed 2 Domperhidone for the nausea but it does nothing good. But my brother told me that I don't look good and he offered to send my daughter to school. I felt so weak but I managed to bathe all 3 of my kids and my nephew. Then, I managed to do the laundry and even little Danish (5 yrs old) and Darwisyah (4 yrs old) helped me to dry the clothes outside. Then, hubby came and helped us. After that, I felt very uncomfortable and after nursing baby Darwish to sleep, I tried to take a nap. That when I started to feel the worse. I felt like I'm going to die with the terrible headache and fever plus the never ending nausea. Hubby came from picking Dayana up from school and bought some take away from Pizza Hut and KFC but none of these gave me any craving to eat. It even made the nausea worsening. I ran up and threw up and cover myself with blanket and went to sleep some more. Around 4 pm, I was wet all over with sweat and I felt a little bit good except for the throbbing head.
At night, hubby massaged me and I thought I could finally have some good rest after the massage but hubby dearest had picked up the whatever germs or bacterias that has been infecting me! He felt sick with the same pattern and symptom. So yesterday, being a Monday, I had to wake up and made breakfast, send Dayana to school, prepare Danish for kindergarten, send him off to kindy, do the laundries, tending the 4 small ones (4 yrs old, 2 yrs old, 1yr old and 8 mths old), cleaning the house, cooking lunch and picking up Danish from kindy at 12 noon. By the time I was ready to pick Dayana up around 12.40p, I was feeling very light headed. I pushed myself hard by drinking the Nescafe Kacip Fatimah and Collagen.
I parked my car far away as there were none nearest available parking around and had to walk 4 minutes to the school gate. As soon as I reached the school gate, I heard ringing sounds in my ears and I felt very light and cold. I knew I was about to passed out but nobody noticed. A funny thing that I noticed with parents nowadays, they have this snobbish looking on their face saying I-am-here-to-send-and-pick-my-children-and-not-too-be-your-friend. I tried to be friendly a few times with Dayana's classmates' parents but they don't give a damn. Very different with the Western culture where it's good to have good relationship with other parents so that if there is any emergency, you can have big help and support. I quickly took a deep breath and recite the Selawat and I reached for my Blackberry. As soon as I was clutching the phone, I was wondering, who am I going to call? My hubby is sick at home, I don't have a mom or in-laws, my dad is disabled, I have friends but they are not close ones, and relatives? Both of my parents are from Kuching so all the families are still in Kuching. I was in a brink of tears when I felt a strong courage building up inside me. My family needs me and I have to be strong.
I managed to drive home back and I quickly lay down and relaxed for a while before continuing my job as a mum. I had a mild fever again at night and I guess my body needed some quality rest. I feel so sad about myself, and even while typing this right now, I'm crying. Other people have someone to turn to when they need help, but in this case like mine, I have no one but Allah. When you feel like you're going to crumble and too tired of handling everything, just take a deep breath and selawat. Insya-Allah, you'll feel something positive, even it's not big. I'm so emotional right now so I'll end this post. Before that, a little advice from me, treasure the people that you love and if you have the time, give a smile to the person standing next to you while waiting for your children. You might help someone by doing this.
